fish smell good.

Wed, 28 Jan 2004 15:50:53 GMT

hi again.

yesterday i took a monster dump in the litter box.
another day, another dump.

red house painters have a good song called "have you forgotten". it reminds me of how sometimes i think i've forgotten how to love myself. i mean, with another kitty in the house it's hard, you know? i used to seclude myself on a regular basis, perching on top of the portable closet. now, i lick sasquatch every now and then, but we have our problems.
like the other day. i was bragging about my newly acquired online journal, and saps says, "why don't i have a live journal?" (i seperated the "live" and the "journal" because if sappy would try to write it, she'd probably write it that way. she doesn't know much about the internet. poor her.)
and instead of telling her that she was too young and naive to have something as grown-up as an lj, i just bit her head.
yeah, times are hard sometimes. but i'll just keep my ear to the litter box.

nothing else to do this early in the morning, so i guess that leaves me to fill out this survey.

The Seven Deadly Sins

ANGER
1. Who did you last get angry with? [sasquatch]
2. What is your weapon of choice? [a) my sharp wit, b) my sharp claws or c) my master dump]
3. Would you hit a member of the opposite sex? [well, i'd prefer to just claw them]
4. How about of the same sex? [sure, claw them too]
5. Who was the last person who got really angry at you? [sasquatch]
6. What is your pet peeve? [so what if i'm a pet with a livejournal, if you've got a problem, you tell me to my face]
7. Do you keep grudges, or can you let them go easily? [well, there was one time when i didn't get fed for a whole day! can you believe it, and afterwards, they had the nerve to buy me that cheap wet food from around the corner. but you know, i still didn't hold a grudge. because i'm butters compassionate noel.]

SLOTH
1. What is one thing you're supposed to do daily that you haven't done in a long time? [lick my crotch. hey, speaking of..]
2. What is the latest you've ever woken up? [i can't tell time, but i swear there was this one time when i slept straight through 3 days. seriously, i was THAT tired!]
3. Name a person you've been meaning to contact, but haven't? [the cat that was in next to me at the laspca. i don't remember his name - hell, i don't know if he's still out there - but when we were in that hole, late a night, i couldn't see his face, but he would tell the best stories - stories full of hope - that a cat's ever heard.]
4. What is the last lame excuse you made? ["i can't help if i don't like promis!"]
5. Have you ever watched an infomercial all the way through? [once. i was drunk then, twas 4 am & we were bored.]
6. When was the last time you got a good workout in? [hmm. nothing's coming to mind.]
7. How many times did you hit the snooze button on your alarm clock today? [i don't do alarm clocks.]

GLUTTONY
1. What is your overpriced yuppie beverage of choice? [kentwood]
2. What is the greatest amount of alcohol you've had in one sitting/outing/event? [hmm.]
3. Have you ever used a professional diet company? [why would i? thick is in.]
4. Do you have an issue with your weight? [nope]
5. Do you prefer sweets, salty foods, or spicy foods? [depends on my mood. usually turkey giblet or salmon flavored.]
6. Have you ever looked at a small housepet or child and thought food? [sassy's the perfect size for me to enjoy in one sitting. why wouldn't i?]

LUST
1. How many people have you seen naked (not counting movies/family)? [too many, but lust has nothing to do with it. i don't "lust" over just anyone even if i have seen them in the naked.]
2. How many people have seen YOU naked (not counting physicians/family)? [no one. 's why i have this coat.]
3. Have you ever caught yourself staring at the chest/crotch of a member of your gender of choice during a normal conversation? [well, sometimes i'll just stare at my own crotch.. that count?]
4. Have you "done it"? [SPAYED & PROUND]
5. What is your favorite body part on a person of your gender of choice? [well, i like my crotch a lot.]
6. Have you ever been propositioned by a prostitute? [what?]
7. Have you ever had to get tested for an STD or pregnancy? [my folks listened to bob barker to prevent me from being in this situation, thankyouverymuch.]

GREED
1. How many credit cards do you own? [PLEASE.]
2. What's your guilty pleasure store? [petsmart. never been, but i've heard stories.]
3. If you had $1 million, what would you do with it? [i don't know what $1 million is but i bet i could lick my crotch with it.]
4. Would you rather be rich, or famous? [everybody on the block knows ms. butters. how many cats have their own livejournals? i mean, really.
5. Would you accept a boring job if it meant you would make megabucks? [life's boring anyway, why not?]
6. Have you ever stolen anything? [i steal the hearts of people who come to visit. i'm that cute.]
7. How many MP3s are on your hard drive? [i don't.. i don't deal with that stuff.]

PRIDE
1. What one thing have you done that you're most proud of? [peed on the laundry in vengence]
2. What one thing have you done that your parents are most proud of? [well, i got myself off the streets & into a good home for starters. i think if ma & pa knew that, they'd smile a little. i love you guys, wherever you are.]
3. What thing would you like to accomplish in your life? [go outside without peeing on myself in fear. i know, silly, right? but it's something that i have to do.]
4. Do you get annoyed by coming in second place? [i've never been second to anyone.]
5. Have you ever entered a contest of skill, knowing you were of much higher skill than all the other competitors? [i wouldn't do that to any other cats.]
6. Have you ever cheated on something to get a higher score? [nah.]
7. What did you do today that you're proud of? [i checked out what the plumbers were doing in the bathroom, and i swear that if i had opposable thumbs, i could probably fix the toilet from now on.]

ENVY
1. What item (or person) of your friends would you most want to have for your own? []
2. Who would you want to go on "Trading Spaces" with? []
3. If you could be anyone else in the world, who would you be? []
4. Have you ever been cheated on? []
5. Have you ever wished you had a physical feature different from your own? []
6. What inborn trait do you see in others that you wish you had for yourself? []
7. Do you wish you'd come up with this survey? []
8. Finally, what is your favorite deadly sin? []

The Seven Heavenly Virtues

FAITH
1. What religion do you follow? []
3. Do you believe that forgiveness is a religious property, or a human property? []
4. Do you believe in magic? []
5. What was the last promise you broke? []
6. Have you ever said the words to a prayer and not meant it? []
7. Do you believe that anyone could be perfect? []

HOPE
1. Did you get everything you wanted over the last holiday season? []
2. Regarding your future, what is the best thing you could hope for? []
3. Do you let yourself get your hopes up for something even if you know that there is a large chance of failure? []
5. Have you ever bought a lottery ticket? []
6. Do you gamble? []
7. Have you ever had something called off on account of bad weather, but then gone ahead and done it anyway? []

CHARITY
1. What causes do you support? []
2. What causes have you given money or time to? []
3. Have you ever worked in a soup kitchen or done another kind of outreach for the homeless? []
4. Would you ever consider joining the Peace Corps, Amnesty International, or another travel? []
5. Do you give money to the homeless on the street? []
6. Have you ever helped out a friend with basic needs, like rent or food? []
7. What's the greatest extent you've gone to help a friend in need? []

FORTITUDE
1. What are you most afraid of? []
2. What did you do today that was really brave? []
3. Who is your favorite superhero, and why? [garfield.]
4. Would you put your life in danger to rescue someone? []
5. If you were to face the Wizard, would you want more courage, more brains, or more heart? []
6. Have you ever gotten stage fright? []
7. Do you consider yourself to be a leader or a follower? []

JUSTICE
1. Have you ever been summoned for jury duty? []
2. If they reinstituted the draft (for both genders), would you go, or would find some way out of it? []
3. Do you support capital punishment (the death penalty)? []
4. Which should be guaranteed legal? []
5. Do you believe that Dubya is rightfully President of the USA? []
6. What was your favorite media circus trial? []
7. Have you ever written a letter to a politician? []

TEMPERANCE
1. What do you have the hardest time moderating yourself on? []
2. Do you collect anything? []
3. Are you addicted to anything? []
4. Have you ever put anything on layaway or used an installment plan? []
5. What's your preferred method of paying for things? []
6. Tell us one thing you wish you hadn't let yourself do? []
7. Do you feel that you obsess over things? []

PRUDENCE
1. Who is the wisest person you know? []
2. Have you ever participated in a vigil? []
3. Do you take advice when it's given? []
4. What area are you wisest in? []
5. Do you drive defensively? []
6. Have you ever had unprotected sex outside of marriage? []
7. What did you learn today? [that surveys are dumb.]
8. And of course, what is your favorite heavenly virtue? []

sorry i bailed out on the last few questions. someone e-mailed that to me, but i had no idea it was going to take that long. i could've been bathing myself that whole time! people actually sit through these things? looosers.

my first three lives are all used up.

Wed, 28 Jan 2004 01:15:18 GMT

life is pretty boring.

eating. sleeping. opening cabinet doors to amaze guests. laying on my back while people pick my fleas. i needed something more.

that's why i've turned to the livejournal community. i've heard stories of how unaccepting people can be towards pets with their own online journals. i'm not letting that stop me.

my crotch itches.

calicosoulja

fish smell good.

my first three lives are all used up.